Okay, so I just read this amazing post off a new blog that I found on my cousin-in-law's blog roll (whose blog I also found and read for the first time today, thanks to facebook). The author of the blog's message really struck to the heart of my core feelings about being a mother (at least the one I strive to and desire to be). Soooo, I decided that it just had to be shared with you all. Here is a direct link to her blog "peaceful parenting" peaceful parenting: Peaceful Parenting: Following Your Instincts. The comments are fabulous too, so don't forget about those. I'm tempted to copy and paste the whole blog post, comments included here, but I won't. Instead I'll just share my favorite quotes.
"In all my time and effort spent researching the best ways to mother, I have come full circle to realize that in almost all cases, the best choices for the health of children and mothers are the ones you would make if stranded on a deserted island and forced to follow your instincts. Trust birth. Breastfeed. Keep your baby whole. Sleep by your baby. Wear your baby. Communicate with your baby. Listen and respond to your baby's cues and cries. --Jennifer Coias
"Gentle parenting...is not some prescibed method or program of raising children. It is not about following books or doing what the experts' tell you to do. It is not a box that you need to try and fit into, or checklists you need to cross off in your parenting journey. It is not about following the latest trends that...other's make fashionable. And it is not about feeling guilty when mistakes are made along the way (we all make them). Gentle mothering - primal parenting - peaceful parenting, ...is about listening to your heart, your instincts, and your baby. Really getting to know yourself as a mother or father, and the little one whose life depends on you. Putting this before all the other hoopla out there. It is when we know our baby and our child's cues well, and when we respond to them in a manner that is consistent with our primal nature as mammalian mothers - to protect, to love, to answer - that we can feel confident we are doing our very best at thee most important job we will ever in our lives have."--okay, so I promised I wouldn't re-type the whole blog post, but I couldn't help myself, because I just LOVED every word!
And then I also really liked Emma's comment: "...I couldn't agree more...all these books about how to raise a happy, confident, smart, sensitive, creative child simply confuse new mothers and create doubt, anxiety and competitiveness. Throw them away people and follow your instincts."
"In all my time and effort spent researching the best ways to mother, I have come full circle to realize that in almost all cases, the best choices for the health of children and mothers are the ones you would make if stranded on a deserted island and forced to follow your instincts. Trust birth. Breastfeed. Keep your baby whole. Sleep by your baby. Wear your baby. Communicate with your baby. Listen and respond to your baby's cues and cries. --Jennifer Coias
"Gentle parenting...is not some prescibed method or program of raising children. It is not about following books or doing what the experts' tell you to do. It is not a box that you need to try and fit into, or checklists you need to cross off in your parenting journey. It is not about following the latest trends that...other's make fashionable. And it is not about feeling guilty when mistakes are made along the way (we all make them). Gentle mothering - primal parenting - peaceful parenting, ...is about listening to your heart, your instincts, and your baby. Really getting to know yourself as a mother or father, and the little one whose life depends on you. Putting this before all the other hoopla out there. It is when we know our baby and our child's cues well, and when we respond to them in a manner that is consistent with our primal nature as mammalian mothers - to protect, to love, to answer - that we can feel confident we are doing our very best at thee most important job we will ever in our lives have."--okay, so I promised I wouldn't re-type the whole blog post, but I couldn't help myself, because I just LOVED every word!
And then I also really liked Emma's comment: "...I couldn't agree more...all these books about how to raise a happy, confident, smart, sensitive, creative child simply confuse new mothers and create doubt, anxiety and competitiveness. Throw them away people and follow your instincts."
I don't know if I could properly descibe in words the way my heart leapt and almost skipped a beat in excitement upon reading these messages. Through the past 6 years, 7 including my first pregnancy, I have wanted nothing more than to be the BEST parent possible. I thought that meant reading ALL the books and somehow pulling out the best methods and mixing them all into one perfect approach or way. Okay, so I quickly learned that, that was IMPOSSIBLE!!! There was NO WAY that I had the time, energy, or even desire to read ALL the books or research--as a Child Development major, I read a lot of that! So, I was left confused, and unsure if I was ever doing it right. My oldest daughter came and I was anxiety ridden, because I wasn't ready for her (in my mind) because I hadn't read it all, or prepared just perfectly myself or the environment in which she'd live. Before I knew it daughter #2 was here, shortly followed by numbers 3 and 4. I'd had 4 daughters in 6 years and I still lacked confidence in my parenting...it didn't make 
sense to me that I couldn't state with conviction that I was a good mother or that I knew I was doing what was best for my child, because I didn't know and I wasn't sure. There were just too many sources (books, research, other moms, etc) telling me that their ways were the best ways, meaning that mine was sub par, or flat out wrong. I didn't like that feeling, but for some reason I couldn't escape the anxious unsettling feeling in the back of my mind that kept telling me their was a better way and that I wasn't doing it. All of this combined, left me feeling like a failure, but only in my mind. Reality told a different story, the one of how I was really doing as a mother. But in my mind (a very strong world we all live in), reality was distorted my the thousands of outside influences that can affect all mothers. and I was left feeling confused and over-whelmed. Thankfully, however, I feel like my little Abigail (daughter #4) was my secret ticket to peace and serenity. It wasn't until I had her (and even then it took a couple of months), that I was FINALLY able to grant myself the credit I think I've been due these past 7 years. This credit, had been stollen from me by my own mind, because I wasn't what I call a "book mommy" (meaning I'd read all the books and was following the best advice or research out there). The funny thing is that, I own, and have even begun reading most of the modern-day parenting books. But because I'm a mother of 4 young daughters, I never had (or took) the time to finish very many of them. Maybe it's because they weren't that captivating to begin with, you knows? The point is, I am doing a decent job as a mother and although I slip up, make mistakes, and fall short all the time, I am doing the best that I can! I do listen to my baby's cues, I do snuggle, and love, and listen to my children. I pray for my girls daily and try to parent them as I believe my Heavenly Parents did. And, of course, I have two wonderful and caring parents who were, and still are, fabulous examples to follow. For all this I am grateful and can grant myself credit! : )
sense to me that I couldn't state with conviction that I was a good mother or that I knew I was doing what was best for my child, because I didn't know and I wasn't sure. There were just too many sources (books, research, other moms, etc) telling me that their ways were the best ways, meaning that mine was sub par, or flat out wrong. I didn't like that feeling, but for some reason I couldn't escape the anxious unsettling feeling in the back of my mind that kept telling me their was a better way and that I wasn't doing it. All of this combined, left me feeling like a failure, but only in my mind. Reality told a different story, the one of how I was really doing as a mother. But in my mind (a very strong world we all live in), reality was distorted my the thousands of outside influences that can affect all mothers. and I was left feeling confused and over-whelmed. Thankfully, however, I feel like my little Abigail (daughter #4) was my secret ticket to peace and serenity. It wasn't until I had her (and even then it took a couple of months), that I was FINALLY able to grant myself the credit I think I've been due these past 7 years. This credit, had been stollen from me by my own mind, because I wasn't what I call a "book mommy" (meaning I'd read all the books and was following the best advice or research out there). The funny thing is that, I own, and have even begun reading most of the modern-day parenting books. But because I'm a mother of 4 young daughters, I never had (or took) the time to finish very many of them. Maybe it's because they weren't that captivating to begin with, you knows? The point is, I am doing a decent job as a mother and although I slip up, make mistakes, and fall short all the time, I am doing the best that I can! I do listen to my baby's cues, I do snuggle, and love, and listen to my children. I pray for my girls daily and try to parent them as I believe my Heavenly Parents did. And, of course, I have two wonderful and caring parents who were, and still are, fabulous examples to follow. For all this I am grateful and can grant myself credit! : )
3 comments:
Thanks for sharing this--it's thought-provoking.
That`s really great post.Thanks a lot for sharing.
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